I know I am not much of a social person. It doesn’t mean I do not like going out or interacting with people. But the fact remains true that I’m too selective in making friends and I cannot start a conversation easily with new people. The criteria for someone to be my friend are too many and I am aware of the fact that I am being too judgemental in this matter which I cannot resist.

Overcoming these obstacles even if I make friends, it’s always at a time when they are about to move away from- either the location or the city or the country where I am residing. It’s astonishing how it happens all the time.

It pains when I’ve found a person in whom I can confide and that person departs. May be that’s the way this world works all the time. It’s an indication; a sign that there are other people too who meet the same frequencies as mine and I just need to look for them and broaden my outlook while I am judging them.

Girl's Birthday

A cute drawing titled 'Girl's Birthday' by my student.

The cosy mosquito net

Mosquito nets can serve two purposes:

One, as a home decor accessory it can add to the beauty of your cot and bed (so, as a want).

Second, the most important, to protect oneself from 'obviously' mosquitoes (so,as a need).
As far as our family is concerned, it's serving the second purpose thanks to the Shilpa Park mosquitoes (breeding park for these killer insects).

Whatever may be the reason i have always liked using mosquito nets.
The process of tying it every night and then reassembling it the next morning is quite cumbersome and boring;that is the reason why my mom would tie it for me then every night murmuring few words for not doing my works.

Now i am forced to do the same job to save my girl from those creatures. Though initially i was happy as S had taken over the job, later i realised that the responsibility was falling on my shoulders gradually.

But at the end of all this painstaking work i do get a cosy place to dwell in the night.
It creates a separate room-like space once you enter it and makes your bed look more bigger than it actually is (it just looks but doesn't make your bed big in reality:()

These protecting nets can even be nightmarish once it gives way to a single mosquito. But right now i am worried about the next season- 'Hyderabad Summer' and 'The Use of a Mosquito Net'!!!

About Self and Individuality...

...by Rabindranath Tagore

"At one pole of my being I am one with stocks and stones. There I have to acknowledge the rule of universal law. That is where the foundation of my existence lies, deep down below. Its strength lies in its being held firm in the clasp of the comprehensive world., and in the fullness of its community with all things.

But at the other pole of my being I am separate from all. There I have broken through the cordon of equality and stand alone as an individual. I am absolutely unique, I am I, I am incomparable. The whole weight of the universe cannot crush out this individuality of mine. I maintain it in spite of the tremendous gravitation of all things. It is small in appearance but great in reality. For it holds its own against the forces that would rob it of its distinction and make it one with the dust.

This is the superstructure of the self which rises from the indeterminate depth and darkness of its foundation into the open, proud of its isolation, proud of having given shape to a single individual idea of the architect's which has no duplicate in the whole universe. If this individuality be demolished then though no material be lost, not an atom destroyed the creative joy which was crystallised therein gone. We are absolutely bankrupt if we are deprived of this speciality, this individuality, which is the only thing we can call our own; and which, if lost, is also a loss to the whole world...."


P.S: Take time and patience to read this.

ಅನಾವರಣ

I really like this new serial 'Anavarana' aired at ETV Kannada.
It's dialogues are good, it's story is bounded in reality and it's not about a boy-girl relationship nor about never ending saas- bahu saga.
In today's episode, one of the characters speaks about getting bored so easily with life to her grandmother and her granny reasons and figures out the possible reasons.
She says, your childhood (referring more to the present time) has not had taste of playing outdoor games, but only of computer games; has not lost games with friends and peers but with machines so on and so forth.

I was instantly reminded of the interview that I'd seen weeks back with Daniel Goleman.
He said human brains are wired to have conversations with other individuals face to face and to have a social relationship by physically being present. They are not meant for making connections virtually. Virtual world seems good for some time and later the mind yearn for face to face connections, you are left with nobody around and you become a loner.

Coming back to my serial, one small experience grandmother shares with her is: she learns making upma from her mother. She tries it out in her mother's absence. It turns out to be good, she is happy for herself and the father who will taste it. The next time it turns out be bad, she cries. Her grand-daughter stops her saying why worry about that in this present age when you get ready made mix not just for upma but all the dishes and more over who has the time to spend on preparing a simple dish like upma.

Their conversation gets carried away to all such detailed topics of everyday life, conflicts between the past and present generation and ends for the day. Waiting for the next episode (if my daughter allows me to watch).

Divided attention

I seem to be very bad at multi-tasking.
If am talking over the phone, I can do just that and not mix it with any other work.
If am listening to music, I just concentrate on the lyrics and the music and not do anything else.
But, there are people who are so good at carrying out multiple tasks at a time.
They drive, same time listen to music plus attend a phone call.
People listen to music while they read etc etc.,
Especially people belonging to this generation are very good at this.
I do not know,though, how much of the information that they gather during this inter-changing activities is really fruitful.

Many researchers quote that this type divided attention tasks though good in some respects, but may hamper the span of attention (the amount of time that is given to focus on a subject)of an individual.
The Internet has a big role to play in bringing down the span of attention of people, with people easily and quickly jumping from one web page to the other to find loads of information.

Of course, there are many people who are good at multi- tasking and have very good span of attention too.
Ultimately what matters is the quality of information that one is gathering.

A B C D

Majority of parents think of the learning process in terms of the letters of the alphabet that their child has learnt.

Just for example.,the other day i was speaking to a neighbour at my native place whose son is almost of my daughter's age. And i casually asked if he is attending school. She said 'he doesn't in class but cries all the time' and soon she added but 'he can recite ABCD very well and can count up to 10'.
There are parents who search for schools for their children where there is stress on teaching academics rather than anything else.

What these parents not want understand is to see if their child has the readiness to read and write. A child cannot read or write just because he has started schooling. It takes a lot of mental as well as physical preparation on the part of the child to formally start writing or reading.

I was amazed at one of my acquaintance's (whose son too is slow at learning) remark on a child who had learning difficulty.
She remarked "may be her parents doesn't shout at her and don't control her so she has the problem?" Even after telling her what the problem was she was not in a position to understand it.

Initially i thought the educated parents would understand such problems better but now it doesn't hold good. Because, even if some of the parents are educated and hold good jobs their attitude towards education and the problems related to educating the children remain to be age old.

Of course there are people who very sensitive their children's feelings and take very good care but still a majority of them whose mindset needs to be changed towards learning.

Revisiting

Revisiting the Qutub Shahi tombs and Golkonda fort gave me another chance to take few more beautiful pictures of these relics of the past...Here are a few of them...

Rabindranath Tagore

First time I have laid hands on Tagore's book- Omnibus IV, a collection of short stories, writings of the Upanishad and a few poems of Kabir.

I completed reading the first story: Two sisters. The plot is simple, protagonists are simple and social milieu is even more simple. But it carries lot of depth. One, after going through half the story, may easily tell what may happen in the end but Tagore gives his own direction to the characters so none is portrayed in a negative manner and everybody is a hero.

Reading something on Upanishads is my first attempt and I do know I am wandering here and there. May be I will improve in the coming chapters:)

Just a few lines of the part from Upanishad:

"Children, when they begin to learn each separate letter of the alphabet, find no pleasure in it, because they miss the real purpose of the lesson; in fact, while letters claim our attention only in themselves and as isolated things, they fatigue us. They become a source of joy to us only when they combine into words and sentences and convey an idea.

Likewise, our soul when detached and imprisoned within the narrow limits of a self loses its significance. For its very essence is unity. It can only find out its truth by unifying itself with others".

I always felt that there is a similarity between drinking, munching on junk food and shopping: that they are all addictive.
Once started hard to quit, you want more of it each time you have it.

Caged

It is hard to see the wild animals caged behind the bars. Though we (me n S) liked the vastness of the Hyderabad Zoo, it’s a sad sight to see animals singled out from their counterparts. Taken, that some of them are savage but not compared to the savagery of we humans who would neither let them live in the jungle nor outside.

Just a few days ago, I was teaching my daughter to differentiate between water animals and wild animals of the jungle soon she blurted out wild animals do not stay in jungle but in the zoo! That day too is not very far.

ನಮ್ಮ ಮನೆಯಲೊಂದು ಗುಬ್ಬಿ ಗೂಡ ಕಟ್ಟಿತು ...

Just a few days back I had started teaching my daughter as to where a bird lives. And this week the birds have started that process next to our window. I had just observed these birds sitting next to the window for the first time. I enjoyed the sight as I had not witnessed it from quite sometime now, especially after shifting from Srinagar colony where it was more usual and accessible. There, being on the first floor, the branches of Guava and Pomegranate protruded generously into the balcony making it easier to watch the birds that found shade on those trees.

Whereas here it is an uncommon view. It was S who told me that the birds (do not know the name, they look like sparrows but they are slightly taller and are in dark brown colour) are looking for a place to build their nest as they were all sneaking into the half opened window which could not be closed fully due to some reasons. We were, at first, apprehensive whether to allow these birds to nestle there as we thought they might be scared if our girl knew they were there and meddle with it. But later on we decided to make a few arrangements for them to hide from our daughter and let them continue with their preparation. I too wanted Anvitha to see this sight (sometime later) to give a hands on experience of what she is learning.

We pulled the widow curtains to their side, tied the half-opened window tightly to the grills (to make sure it doesn't open when the wind blew) and put a barricade between the mosquito mesh and the window (just to make sure it is not visible to our daughter if she opens the curtains). All arrangements made we waited for them to start their job. They made their way patiently selecting each grass carefully. They first laid a layer of dry grass and upon that started with the wet grass. In just two days time they have covered up completely leaving a small gap to move about. Now and then, I sneak at them just to see what the bird is up to but in vain. I know they too need some privacy. It is only through their sounds and flapping of their wings one can make their presence felt.
Yesterday when my girl threw a tantrum they started flapping their wings- a sign of fear or danger. I worried they would find another place. But in the evening when Anvitha started her Music classes (so called) I was consoled and wanted the birds to be there. And in the night, when S was late and I laid my hands on Tagore's book (my first attempt on His book) a perfect backdrop was created with the chirping of these cute birds. The movement of the curtains made me think of the endless efforts they were making in perfecting their nest and its occupant.

How I wish to show their nest to Anvitha but I know I have to wait.

Hotel Diana

This is one of my husband's favourite hotels in Udupi(of his parents' too).
And that's the reason he didn't want me to miss it this time.
Though the entrance of the hotel looks somewhat old and unappealing, the circular pavement that leads to the first storey of the building catches ones attention immediately.
The pavement also hides in itself a small well which can easily be overlooked because of the greenery that surrounds the place.
The inside of the hotel is impeccably clean and if you visit the place during rainy season you can find a bucket placed next to every table:the reason, to keep your wet umbrellas.
The speciality of the place is their Gudbud ice cream (which i tasted alone:()but i liked their Masala Dosa more.
The dosas are crispy yet so soft that it melts the moment it reaches the mouth. The ghee adds to the taste.
Variety of chutneys that is provided for each dish is commendable.
I will remember their food for a very long time especially the savouring of Gudbud watching the heavy rains through the window next to me, though i missed my daughter and S by my side.

Diary

I have stopped writing my personal diary these days.
The only time i do feel like writing it is when i am upset or sad.
But then, i do not want to fill my diary with those gloomy notes.
I'd rather leave the pages blank instead of making it a manuscript of my erratic moods.

Silence

This thought has crossed my mind more than once...
Is talking over cell phone so important? Be it walking on the road or driving or just waiting for someone or something, almost all the time.
Or is it just a way of letting know that this gadget has become one of the most important part of their lives?
If people don't have anybody to talk to over the phone they would rather just listen to the music. Again, it's a sign of trend or necessity i do not know.
Don't these people want to be left alone with themselves atleast for some time in a day? Can't silence and your inner self be your company?

Not these days, i guess!!!